Forget Me Not
by GirlWhoLovesFanfiction
Summary: "Everything felt so surreal when the nameless man awoke with a hole slowly sealing in his head. It didn't hurt, though he understood that he had somehow been shot directly between his eyes. And did not die." Alucard has somehow lost his memories. And with his memories comes the loss of the Hellsing seals. How will he view those he once cherished through a stranger's eyes?
1. I: He's a Monster

**Hello everyone! I've been away for a while, haven't I? I decided to publish one of the stories that I only just recently started (yesterday) in-between finishing other things that I should probably get to. I think the inspiration for this story came a long time ago from Jubalii, who wrote the story "A-Amnesia!" I believe sometime in January. I had put it in the back of my mind for a while, and the idea randomly came to me again last night and I got bit by the writing bug. This is a tad different, in the pairing and general storyline. Still though, I don't want to look like a thieving twat, so I thought I would give credit where credit is due. Her fic is amazing, by the way, so I would recommend checking it out.**

I: He's a Monster

Everything felt so surreal when the nameless man awoke with a hole slowly sealing in his head. It didn't hurt, though he understood that he had somehow been shot directly between his eyes. And did not die.

The next thing he noticed was the bright orange light flickering just beyond his eyelids and the smell of smoke. So there was a fire. When had it started? Where was he? Opening his eyes and blinking once, his world slowly but surely came into focus. Ah, so it was in a bank. But why was a bank on fire? Had there been a robbery?

Who was he, again?

He knew that he was lying flat on his back on the floor of a bank, and that he was the only one in there who was still alive. He also knew that he somehow had been shot in the forehead, that a bullet had drilled a hole the size of a pea into his forehead, and a hole the size of a softball in the back of his head.

There was an invisible force tugging on his consciousness. It seemed to want him to get up and get out of the building, whatever it was. He could feel its concern for him, but also a great deal of fear. What was it afraid of? Everything in the building was dead, except for him. The nameless, likely nonexistent thing felt more concern for his wellbeing than even he did, he decided. It was afraid for him. But it did seem to have a good idea, whatever it was. He slowly rose up from his back and his eyes widened in shock.

A woman was still burning in the fire. She was undoubtedly dead, of course, but her eyes were still wide open, even as her skin became crispy and blackened by the raging inferno of the bank. They had a strange, frightening coloration to them; such a vacant, eerie gray they were.

The most disturbing part of it all was that he was not at all disturbed. The smell of her burning… _invigorated_ him.

What was he, again?

0o0

Integra felt it the moment that the bond was severed. She was sitting outside in her Cadillac, calmly smoking a fine cigar, when pain sprouted from her brain and throughout all her limbs. She was unaware of her own screams as she felt him being torn from her. Not completely, no: there was still an iota of the bond between master and monster, enough for her to feel his pain.

When it ended and Integra's head cleared, for the first time in a decade a shiver of true, genuine fear ran down her spine. She could feel the vampire fall into unconsciousness, and just a moment before was able to process how much pain his body had been in (it seemed that in the final moments of the seals breaking, their connection had been unfortunately amplified). But his thoughts… were gone. She would have no way of knowing his intentions. She knew he was unconscious, but how long would he stay that way? There was no way of entering the building: not when it was not only on fire, but likely still beholden to the female vampire he was sent to hunt.

Seconds later, she felt him awaken. He seemed unconcerned, though there was a tinge of confusion. Oh, how desperately she wanted to know just what he was thinking. He was a powerful, unpredictable vampire, susceptible to bouts of whimsy. What would he decide to do with this newfound freedom? What would happen to the world, if such a dangerous creature were to be set loose?

"Stand back!" she screamed at her officers, who had set up a police barricade. The men were confused, and in the bustle of the moment, they did not seem to process that she had given them an order until she forced her way through the blockade. Many tried to question her, as they were her officers and had never seen this behavior from her before. But when they saw the frantic look in her eyes as she ordered them again, they were quick to obey.

And then the towering form her former servant stepped through the front door.

0o0

That feeling of dissociated fear amplified as soon as he left the building. Ah, so it was not afraid _for_ him. That thing in his head was afraid _of_ him, now. But why? He knew he healed much too quickly from the bullet to be human. And he knew that the fact the smell of the woman burning in the fire should not have made him so fascinated. But he did not feel particularly evil. He was simply confused. Confused, and vaguely pleased. It almost felt as if something that pressed on his shoulders before had lifted, and he felt free. Of what, he once again had no clue. Just something very important.

The first person he saw that was alive was another, much prettier woman. She was looking right at him, too. He could see a lot of her from where he stood, though he was far away. Her tan skin and bright blue eyes stood out in great contrast to the way her blonde hair danced in the moonlight. He instinctually felt the urge to know her better. Who are you, he wanted to ask, and where did such a goddess as yourself come from?

As he stepped forward, he saw her advance towards him at the same, cautiously slow pace. The concern in his mind had taken a backseat, and now a stronger wave of fear overtook his senses. Was this woman the one he seemed connected to, the one who had wished his wellbeing in the bank as it burned? He took much quicker steps closer to her, boots thudding and scraping against the asphalt. The fear took a sudden leap, but the woman's expression did not change. Such a commanding mien, this one had. Why, he felt oddly compelled to bow at her feet, the way her eyes danced in the fire and moonlight. Even without knowing who she was, he thought her a fierce and beautiful sight. Blonde hair whipped in the dark breeze, reminiscent of the sun in all its vibrant coloration and wicked passion. Skin the color of raw sienna. She contrasted him in the way that the moon contrasted the sun. The moon was but a meager reflection of the star, just as he felt a pale reflection in comparison to her vivacity.

He took a breath through his mouth to speak to her when they were just a few feet away, and froze. And so the woman mirrored his movements. Her hand crept slowly to her hip, he noticed, most likely where she kept her gun. But once again, a strange knowledge within him told him that the gun she had would not stop him. She would not be able to stop him. And that was good, because as soon as he caught a whiff of her scent- namely, her blood- he did not want to be stopped.

0o0

Integra felt compelled to say something. To ask him what had happened in there. To ask why the seals broke. To command him, even without the ability to bend his will, to genuflect and tell her that his body, mind, and soul, was hers. But she said nothing. She was incapable of speech, gazing into his strange and foreign eyes. Ever since his awakening, she was able to understand why he made his expressions. She could read him like a book, could tell when he was sad or angry or amused. Every expression had a thought attached. Now, there were no palpable thoughts circulating his mind that she could read. Now… the way he looked at her, it was an expression she had never seen. It was as if they were strangers.

An emotion she recognized instantly began to build up. It was one she was quite familiar with, every time he went out on a mission. It was associated with his glee of killing for her, beneath her command. Every time she ordered him out, it was there.

The woman felt like cursing.

Instead, she could only watch in horror as the monster- no longer _her_ monster- smelled her blood. Both froze. "Alucard…" she whispered, but he was too far gone to hear her desperate plea.

It all happened so fast that she was not able to draw her gun out on time. Her body was slammed onto the hard floor of that bank parking lot, hard enough for her glasses to shatter on the pavement. Blonde hair was splayed out in every direction, acting as a carpet that would soon mop up all the blood that would drip from her neck. He had a thing for necks. Her throat would be torn out first, and he would drain every single drop of blood from her body. He would then consume her utterly, and the last pureed bits of her body would be drawn right into his boots. All while her officers watched in stunned silence, unable to do a single thing to defend her against him, because Lord knew there wasn't a single bullet in their guns that could keep him down.

It was a very, very painful way to die. And she knew, she _knew_ , that there was no way out of it.


	2. II: He's Subservient

II: He's Subservient

Hungry. Oh, he was so, so hungry. Every inch of him screamed, demanded for this woman to be his. Suddenly, he didn't care how beautiful she looked, how she seemed to have the right to command him, how he had wanted to worship the ground she walked on. She smelled so good, it was a wonder he did not sink his razor-sharp teeth (curious, when did they get there?) into her immediately. He tackled her to the ground first, digging his nails into her wrists from how tightly he gripped her.

He was unaware of how she stared up at him, unaware of the emotion buzzing in the back of his head, which had become mortal terror rather than simple fear. He just wanted to eat her.

She had whispered some sort of word that became garbled in his ear before he pounced on her. What that was, he did not care about either. What he did care about was why he was still hesitating.

They were mere inches apart. His eyes felt hot in his head, almost as if they were glowing. Some dark matter within him started to sing; a horrific cacophony of voices praising her blood. Delicious sweat beaded on her golden brow, and he could see the pulsating red nectar rushing through her neck. He slowly leaned down, feeling that every centimeter that the distance between his teeth and her throat closed, that he was doing something revolutionary.

Her voice broke through his ravenous haze. "Alucard, I order you to release me!"

It did not hurt, the buzzing on his hands. It felt as if it _should_ hurt him, which was why he blinked and looked at where her wrists were clenched in his firm grip. Twin pentagrams glowed against the bright white of his gloves. They meant something, he just knew it. Or, at least, they used to mean something. Who was this woman, that she could evoke such a strange reaction from him?

The glowing seals on the backs of his hands gave him enough of a pause to break free of the spell that her scent put him under. Though she still looked very tantalizing, he felt he had regained enough self-control not to hurt her.

The grip he had on her slackened, but he did not release her just yet. Furrowing his brow, he leaned over until he was situated directly over her head, and could look her squarely in the eye.

"Who are you?"

0o0

 _Who are you?_ The question repeated over and over in her mind as she stared up at him. Suddenly, it all made sense. Integra did not know how, or why, but somehow, Alucard did not remember who he was. And if his soul was not intact, there was no way she could be his master.

This moment would define whether she lived or died. If he had no idea who she was, he had no idea what his servitude meant. He had no idea how he had come to be, and she would act as his only tether to the past. She was the only one capable of helping him, and that gave her leverage.

A strange, twisted thought made her lips twitch ever so slightly. This poor, idiotic beastie. If he had killed her right then and paid the old seals no mind, he could have been free. But now, she had a chance.

"My name is Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. And I am your master."

He stared at her without speaking for several unnerving moments. And then barked with laughter. "If that's true, then you aren't a very good one."

Integra gave him a very angry look. "It would be easier if you knew who I was."

"Ah, but I know who you are _now_ ," he purred, leaning close enough that their noses nearly touched and gazing at her through hooded eyes. "Ms. Hellsing, yes?"

"Sir."

He grinned. "What an interesting woman you are! Oh, how I wish I was fortunate enough to know everything about you. But that sort of thing takes some time. The fact of the matter is, however, that you are rather powerless against me. So let's start with you telling me just why is it you think you're entitled to call yourself my master."

"You haven't bitten me yet," she countered.

He smirked and tilted his head, glowing crimson eyes hooded as he watched her languidly. "Perhaps my curiosity outweighs my appetite. …You smell delightful, by the way."

Holding back a repulsed shudder, Integra glared up at him. "One who does not understand who or what he is cannot be entitled to deny anything, can he?" At his shocked silence, she continued. "For centuries, the Hellsing Organization has dealt with dispatching members of the undead. Dispatching in that we have both employed, and exterminated, vampires. I suggest you decide quickly which one you would rather be."

0o0

He had dealt with many different emotions upon awakening. Confusion, the fear in the back of his mind that strangely did not belong to him, bloodlust, amusement, and frustration.

Now, he was… well, the way this woman spoke, and the way she looked as she demanded his obedience, the way that defiant gleam in her eyes made him think twice before crossing her…

He was turned on.

This woman, without a prayer, without any power that God did not grant her, demanded his servility. This mortal, beautiful, stunning woman… she deserved his respect. No; "deserved" was not a strong enough word to describe her. She imposed it.

"Stunning. Absolutely stunning. I'm impressed, _Sir_ Hellsing." He licked his lips and glanced down at her neck, but he knew that for the moment, he would not bite. Not yet. "Perhaps I'll follow you rules after all, if only for curiosity's sake. Truce?"

Though it was repressed, he noticed her sigh of relief. "Truce. Now get off."

Her order was soon followed, and he levitated backwards, drawing her up with him. The surrounding humans dressed in Kevlar vests with guns trained on him seemed to calm down upon noticing that he had no ill intentions. Yet.

"So. I'm a vampire," he murmured as he bore his eyes into theirs, watching as each one shrank back from him in fear. It would explain that ever-present hunger that did not seem to vanish even after the woman, Integra Hellsing, distracted him.

"Yes, you are. Do you remember anything at all?"

He turned to her then, looking her in the eyes. Unlike the others, she did not so much as blink. "I am uncertain. I may have remembered you. I had no idea who you were or what your name was, but I knew that I respected you; though that could have just as easily been the effect you have on everyone; such a proud woman, you are. As you are my master, I suppose those symbols on the back of my hands were put there by you."

"They weren't," she said. Integra gestured for his hand, and he was quick to put his in hers. The contact sent jolts of pleasant electricity through his arm. The symbols faded to a dark grey as soon as he released her, no longer that irritated red that buzzed strangely. "My family has kept you as a weapon for generations, as I said before."

"Ah," he nodded, remembering. "Your ancestor. Very well. And I suppose that under normal circumstances, I would be writhing on the floor if I did not heed your command."

She gave him a wry smirk. "Oh yes." And then the amused look became apprehensive. "But something happened in that bank that not only caused you to forget yourself, but the seals no longer work on you. Are you certain you don't remember anything?"

He watched the way the wind made her hair sway gently. It looked so long and soft. He suddenly felt the desire to run his fingers through it. "If I did, I would tell you. But I did wake up with a bullet hole in my head."

Integra snorted. "You've had your head blown completely off your shoulders before. I don't think that would be the case."

"Unless, of course, it was a blessed bullet." When she looked at him strangely, he shrugged. "Aren't creatures of darkness repulsed by holy objects?"

"…Yes, of course. But even still, it would not be enough to kill you."

"But it would cause damage."

She looked disturbed. "Well… yes. I suppose you're right. But even blessed bullets don't normally have such an effect on you."

He narrowed his eyes. "If that is the case, how might we go about curing my… temporary loss of memory?"

The breeze drifted through them once again, flapping his coat behind him and spreading the scent of dampness. It would rain soon, he felt. "That's what we're going to find out."

 **To speedfanatic05: Thank you so much! As always, your reviews never fail to bring a smile to my face.**

 **To AmericanWildDog: Yes, the story will have multiple chapters. I actually have another chapter already written out, so be expecting another one coming soon! Also, that you thought Alucard would actually eat Integra made me laugh. You know... the evil laugh of writers who have a few tricks up their sleeve. Thank you!**

 **To the last two people who left a comment: I apologize if you wrote out a long review and I am not responding to you. Truth be told, this website is acting strangely, and I am unable to see what comments you put. For the first two days, I wasn't able to read any of the six reviews people left me. I hope the situation is resolved shortly.**

 **Thank you, everyone, for your support! Your wonderful reviews give me such a confidence boost!**


	3. III: He's Rueful

III: He's Rueful

It was pouring by the time that they made it back to the manor. The ride in the car was relatively silent, although he did manage to ask enough questions to feel at least relatively satisfied with who he was. He did not know who he was before coming to work for Hellsing, but he did know that they enhanced his powers and made him into an even more terrifying monster. He learned that his name was Alucard, and that he had a fledgling named Seras, who he liked to call 'Police Girl'. She was just a baby vampire, it seemed, and she did not drink blood. He was also old friends with the mansion's butler, Walter, who he also called the 'Angel of Death', for his ruthlessness as a child fighting in World War II. Apparently, he used to love giving out nicknames.

It was also interesting to know that he worked for a supposedly Christian organization that equipped such monstrous beings into their arsenal. Although Integra had told him that he was, before losing his memory, completely under her control, he still wondered why he would be such an essential part of Hellsing. He wanted to ask how her family found him, and how long he had been enslaved, but they arrived before he could ask.

After rolling into the driveway after passing by the soldiers stationed at the gate, Alucard (what a strange name he had) was impressed by the size of the fortified mansion, though he could hardly say that he was completely taken aback. He had expected as much from the organization that worked directly beneath the queen. But still, he found it breathtaking, even though he had the feeling he had seen and lived in much grander castles in his lifetime.

After pulling into the garage, Integra guided the way for him inside, where he startled many a servant with his presence. Apparently, they were not used to the sight of him, which he thought was strange considering the fact that this was supposedly the manor where he lived.

"Come on, follow me," Integra told him, gaining his attention once again. He did as she bade, and followed her inside of the kitchen where many chefs were pottering around. Everyone gave him a wide berth as he stepped through. There were two freezer doors, he noticed, which seemed unusual until she opened up the one on the right and hundreds of blood packets were visible lining the walls. If he had been human, his stomach likely would have growled.

Alucard stepped inside, eyes glowing far more brightly now that so much easily accessible blood was near. "So this is how you feed us," he mused, grabbing a baggie from a nearby shelf.

"The most humane way thinkable. Some of it comes from nearby hospitals, but our staff loves to donate, considering it boosts their paychecks."

"What about you?" he asked carefully, glancing up at her beneath dark bangs.

Integra smirked wryly. "Rarely. You have to earn my blood."

He chuckled as he ripped the cap off the blood and taking one experimental whiff. It was gone within two seconds. As was the next, as was the one after that, and the one after that. Upon his fifth, however, he only sipped at it, hunger unceasing but contained. "Is there a limit, exactly?" he asked hopefully, examining his treasure.

The director nodded. "Normally, we permit only three a night. But in times you find yourself in dire need, the number can stretch. Some people in hospitals need the blood more than you do, you know." And then an irritated look crossed her face, though she guarded it well by turning away and muttering, "Although it does help that one bloody vampire in this institution refuses to drink."

Alucard tilted his head, remembering. "Ah, the Police Girl you told me about: Seras Victoria. The girl I'm supposed to be teaching all about darkness. How am I supposed to do that when I myself don't understand who I am? It seems I have a rather profound obligation to her, considering I made her what she is."

"But you do understand _what_ you are, don't you?" Integra intoned.

"I am a monster by all definitions, unwillingly though I may be one."

"There's your answer, Count."

Before he could ask about the name or notice Integra's minute wince upon the accidental cognomen, a new face popped into the walk-in refrigerator. He was an elderly man with a lean build, dressed in a smart suit with salt-and-pepper hair slicked back into a refined ponytail, monocle gleaming on his left eye. He arched an eyebrow in surprise at the two he encountered in the unit, but did not look entirely overwhelmed. This, Alucard knew, was the telltale sign of the Hellsing family butler, Walter C. Dornez. "Ah!" the man exclaimed, ducking inside with a bucket full of ice on his hip. "Pardon me Master Integra, Alucard. I was just gathering a few packets for Seras."

He watched as the man gathered three packets at random, then glanced to his supposed master. She did not disappoint. "Walter, when you've finished delivering the blood, I want both of you to meet me in my office. We have some very important business to discuss."

The forlorn tone of her words had caught him off his guard, Alucard could tell by Walter's eyes widening in response. The butler cast a secretive glance towards him, and he felt nervous upon realizing the microscopic expression. " _Do I need to be worried?"_ he seemed to ask, and the vampire felt the need to reassure the man. _"_ _Only a little,"_ was what he tried to say with his face, but he was slightly unfamiliar with how such minute exchanges worked.

Walter furrowed his brow, and Alucard immediately realized that he had botched it. Oh well. It wasn't like he knew the character he was supposed to be playing.

"Yes Ma'am, I will get right on that." Bowing out of the room, he disappeared without another word.

0o0

This, Alucard decided, was the first time he was disappointed in the decisions of who he was before getting shot in the face.

The girl that walked through the doors of the large study looked so unlike the vision he had in his head that he audibly gasped when he saw the true face of Seras Victoria. He had expected her to show a bit of humanity, considering her refusal to drink blood. But she looked absolutely nothing like a vampire whatsoever.

Seras Victoria was pretty, but not beautiful like Integra Hellsing. Instead, the buxom little blonde with spikey hair and puppy-dog eyes was pretty in the sense one might consider a doll pretty: the very picture of innocence. She wore a tiny skirt, but that was neither here nor there, considering the high stockings she wore that covered up most of her legs. It was her body language that distinguished her image from that of the nosferatu; the way she stood before him and Integra. She had offered him a wobbly, awkward expression as soon as she entered the room, the way she shuffled on her feet as she waited for Integra to begin speaking. The vampire looked less at ease than the human who stood next to her, though he gave her some credit considering that Walter was a good three times her age.

He was disappointed because he had corrupted such an innocent and well-meaning woman. Integra had briefly explained that he called her 'Police Girl' because of her past occupancy. She had even said that she had no idea why he decided to turn her in the first place, whether for sport of because of a whim. Whatever it was, it was not reason enough.

And her reaction to his predicament was the thing that most sold him on his secondhand guilt. "What!" she had exclaimed, looking over him worriedly. "Is he injured elsewhere, too? He doesn't remember me?" The hurt in her voice on the third question did not help him ease his discomposure.

"I'm sorry," he felt compelled to tell her. "I wish I could remember you, because you seem like a nice girl. But at least I'm not deceased. Or… not fully, I should say. It appears I am indeed quite dead."

At least her bashful expression at his compliment made up for some of his remorse. Walter, meanwhile, looked stunned. "You really have forgotten your memory. And here I thought this was a scheme of some sort."

"I would have done such a thing?" he asked, turning to the butler.

The old man frowned, though it was a contemplative one. "I wouldn't know. We are friends, but you were- _are_ \- a very… ambiguous character, Alucard. No, I don't think you would have stooped so low, but I have been surprised by you before. Hence Miss Victoria, if you want an example."

Sparing one glance at Integra from the corner of his eye, Alucard took off his hat and approached the two with a meaningful look. Walter observed him warily while Seras looked nervous when he came within a foot between them. "Then new introductions are to be made. Walter Dornez. Seras Victoria. You both already know my name, but for now, we are strangers. So, I would like to acquaint myself with my little family once again." He reached out a hand, a light smirk tugging at his lips. "It's nice to meet you."

After a spell of outright shock, Walter hesitantly shook the proffered hand, grinning a bit himself. Seras also shook his hand, though he took note of the fact that she did so very lightly, almost as if she were afraid it was some sort of trick.

It was then that he realized that not only did he have to work on recovering his memories, but he had quite a bit of work to do regarding the relationships he had with the people in his life.

Despite the strangeness of it all, Integra looked upon the sight with fondness.

 **To roseimagine: Ah! So you were one of the reviewers I couldn't respond to last time! Let me take the time out now to say thank you, and I'm very glad that I managed to strike a chord. Your kind words really moved me, and I hope that the slight interactions between Walter, Seras, and Alucard were on-par with your expectations. Next chapter goes a little more in-depth, but I figured that just this one would be good for introductions.**

 **To ninjadaleburg: I plan on continuing this, don't worry! I already have the next two chapters already done, I just update after some time has passed in order to have enough time to edit certain things in advance.**

 **To speedfanatic05: Thank you once again! It really is a bit difficult, having Alucard remain as similar to his old self as possible after undergoing such a change. To know that you appreciate the change means the world to me!**


	4. IV: He's Breakable

**Here comes the next installment of my latest fic! Please keep on sending in wonderful reviews; as always, your words are always a big help! :)**

IV: He's Breakable

What better way to break the ice with someone than over an evening meal?

Well, there are many. Unless, of course, you are a vampire, and you are enjoying a bag of blood with another vampire. At least, that was what Alucard assumed.

He found her in the library, poring over a book about amnesia, undoubtedly trying her best to bring back her old master. Even without any knowledge of notable scripture, he knew her undertaking was pointless. The cure for lacking memory could not be found within a meager book: a doctor had informed Integra that there really wasn't any. The best they could hope for was that it would all come back at once, or he would recollect different parts of his past every day until eventually he transformed into the Old Alucard.

Stepping out from the wall he had appeared from, Alucard cleared his throat in an attempt to get her attention gently. It didn't work: as soon as she heard the sudden noise, Seras whipped her head to him and nearly jumped out of her chair at the sight of him. "M-Master!" she yelped, and he paused at the strange term she used to address him. He wanted to correct her, to tell her that she didn't have to refer to him that way, until he remembered that who he was before was an entirely different person. If she wanted to call him that, perhaps it would be best not to ask her to change so soon after undergoing such a shock.

He nodded in greeting. "Police Girl. Just the officer I was looking for."

She nervously shut the book and stood when he approached. Alucard looked over the title: _Your Memories and You_. He rolled his eyes and placed a chilly bucket on top of the book. Then, much to her chagrin, he plopped down on a comfortable reading chair across from her. Seras looked inside the bucket and winced at the familiar blood packets. "What is this?"

"My attempt at getting to know my fledgling," he answered casually, kicking his feet up as he ripped the cap off the baggy and took a sip. "At ease, soldier," he teased.

Seras slowly sat back down, eyeing the bucket with a forlorn expression. "That's okay. I… I don't drink."

Alucard nodded indulgently. "I know. These are for me. Integra told me that under these circumstances, she wants me well-fed. So for the rest of the week, I get as many as I please. I hope you don't mind my being here. Wouldn't want to distract you from your… _riveting_ book."

The girl sighed, looking to the far right wall, avoiding the sight of either him, the blood, or the book. Perhaps all three. "I don't mind. I doubt I'd be able to find much anyway, Sir."

Taking a long, drawn-out sip, he watched her fidget under his gaze. When he finally let go of the straw, he quirked an eyebrow. "Was I some sort of asshole to you before?"

It was such a sudden and outlandish question that her head snapped back to him, eyes wide. "Oh, no Sir! Was I rude? I'm sorry, Sir: I didn't mean to be. I'm just tired-"

"You weren't rude," he interrupted, frowning slightly. "I asked because you act like you think I'm about to bully you over something. Did I ever hit or berate you?"

She shook her head. "No… no, you didn't. But like Walter said, you're a difficult person to understand. And he knew you for a long time: much longer than I know you. I've only been here for a few weeks. And you… you are a bit… well, intimidating, Sir."

Now _that_ he could understand. "So you're just worried over what I could do, because you don't understand me. Well, let's clear a little air between us then, yes?"

A little tension left her shoulders, and Seras smiled a genuine and not-wobbly smile at him for the first time. "Okay," she agreed.

He had to admit, when she didn't look scared, she was a cutie. "Let's play a little quid pro quo. You ask me questions, I answer, I ask you questions, you answer."

She nodded, and took a moment to think, chewing on her lower lip as she did so. "Um… what do you remember, if anything at all? I mean, sights, books, history… what do you know?"

Of course she would choose the most difficult question to answer as her first one. Alucard leaned back and pressed the tips of his fingers together as he thought. "I know many languages, but as far as history goes, I have no clue. I don't know what my past is, but I know what can kill or injure me."

That piqued her interest, though she tried hard to conceal it. "What _can_ kill you?"

He smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?" At her pout, he laughed. "All right, now let me ask you a question. Why won't you drink blood? As soon as I woke up, I went for it."

"I don't know," she whispered. "It feels like if I drink it, I lose something important."

The smile vanished. "Your humanity?"

"I don't know," she repeated sadly.

Alucard shrugged. "I suppose I can understand. I didn't feel very human when I first opened my eyes. Once I realized I was a monster, it was easy. But you haven't truly awoken yet, so you won't be able to be one. It doesn't matter, though. You'll drink eventually."

Seras stared at the blood packet longingly for a moment, then gave him a perplexed look. "So you don't know why you serve Sir Integra?"

"By choice, for now," he said. "I respect her."

"Why?"

"Why not?" He smirked.

The draculina nervously pulled on the bottom of her skirt. This hinted at just how young she was: he did not possess the inclination to fidget when he sat or stood still. "You have all the power in the world," she whispered, looking down into her lap. "Why would you choose to submit to anyone you could easily break?"

"I wouldn't be able to break her."

"You would be able to kill her."

He tilted his head to the side, studying the girl carefully. "Breaking and killing are not the same," he said. Seras looked up and met his gaze fully, noticing the dark edge of his tone. It almost sounded as if he had not lost his memory at all in that moment, as if the master she knew before had made his return. "You can strip a man of his life, but not of his spirit. That is a choice. If I am a monster, I have given up my will to live as a man. On the contrary, Police Girl: I believe that Integra would be able to break _me."_

0o0

Integra kept pacing the floor of her office. Back and forth, back and forth. Servant, free. Servant, free. Dracula, Alucard. Finally, when she was through with walking about aimlessly, she opened her box of cigars and helped herself. The smoke did wonders to calm her nerves. Usually. But on this night, she found that her anxiety was a burden that no amount of tobacco could conquer.

She settled upon opening the bottom drawer of her desk, into a compartment that she had not sifted through since she was just a little girl, and plucked out an old journal. The handwriting was messy, and the pages were yellowed and stained with coffee.

" _Dracula is, and always has been, a creature of deceit. The nosferatu, because he abides by no will other than his own, is a corrupt creature. As such, he is treacherous. He appears to live by a warped code of honor, but this does not prevent him from toying with those he deems respectful. Remember, even in his most pacified state, he is a monster beyond human conception._ "

 _Then why didn't he kill me,_ Integra thought. _All my life, I was taught that given the opportunity, Alucard would turn on me in an instant. I was prepared to die just a few hours ago. I would have died. But he_ stopped. _He stopped and I don't know why._

She breathed in and exhaled the smoke through her nostrils, imagining herself as a dragon.

Integra paused. Dragon.

Just below other various papers, there lay a book. It was typed, and it was much newer than the journal. There was a picture on the front of a man who had haunted her hallways, battlefields, and dreams.

 _Son of the Dragon_.

She pulled the book out from beneath the mountain of papers and stared at the cover. Before she could move to open it, however, there came a knock on the door. Integra placed it on her desk and walked over to the door.

Alucard stood in the doorway. His glasses, hat, and red duster were missing. He wore something abnormally… normal, instead, at least by his standards. He only wore his charcoal suit. Integra blinked once, then huffed in amusement. He normally barged in unannounced, so she appreciated that just this once, he respected her privacy. "Can I help you?"

"Perhaps you can. Don't I have to be invited in?" He grinned toothily.

Integra scoffed. "You know that you don't. But please, come inside."

He stepped through and surveyed the room, observing how vacant it was. "You certainly aren't very sentimental," Alucard commented as she shut the door behind him.

"I don't surround myself with useless knickknacks, no. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

The vampire plopped down in the chair across from her desk and lounged with his legs sticking out and his arms crossed. It was such a different and new posture for him that Integra nearly commented on it, but remembered that this was, in essence, a new person. Usually, he would form from the shadows with that big, stupid grin of his and hover behind her chair, or would walk about the room in an effort to gain attention. Sometimes he would lean against the wall, if he was not in a sociable mood. If he ever sat, which he seldom did, Alucard would take his spot in that chair with one leg crossed over the other, hands folded in his lap, or steepled on the desk, or at his sides. It was his manner to act regal. Alucard was the product of aristocracy, as a human king or a vampire one, or a count. In his mind, he was above all except one, and that one was her.

To see him act so casual was a surprise, and not a pleasant one. Integra realized that she suddenly didn't like the way he was sitting, as if he were just another human. He wasn't, and although he pretended that he knew it, it was things like body language that revealed his uncertainty. For the time being, she ignored it and took her seat at her desk. Alucard watched in fascination as the smoke billowed out of her nose as he said, "I wanted to talk about my life. I want to know who I was before I came here. Seras told me that I was a king, once?"

Integra glanced at the book still on her desk, then picked it up. Alucard's attention snapped right to it, and he cocked his head to the side. "This was you, over five hundred years ago."

"' _Vlad the Impaler: Son of the Dragon_ '," he read aloud. "Oh look, and there's even a wooden pole in my hands. Well, it looks like I was quite charming as a mortal."

"I can assure you that you weren't," Integra said, but not without smiling. "This book will be able to explain your human life much better than I could. When you're finished with that, I have another book for you. It's a bit similar, but it features you as a vampire instead."

He stared down at the cover of the book, fingering the pages. She wished their mental connection had not been severed, for if it had not, she would know what he was thinking. It was strange and intimidating, not knowing the inner workings of her servant's mind.

Alucard looked up and gave her a solemn nod. "I can't wait."

And he didn't.

0o0

The basement was cold. That was the first thing that Alucard noticed as he made his way down into the deepest dungeons of the Hellsing manor. Cold, empty, and haunting. Then again, where else would someone like him live? Certainly not in a cozy little nook with warm candlelight and a built-in library.

There was a throne (which got him questioning as to where he had obtained it), a table, an empty wine glass _on_ said table, and a coffin. Everything else was either concrete or brick. "Cheerful," he muttered as he picked up the glass and sniffed it. Ah, so he couldn't drink wine. It smelled faintly of blood. So he was a monster with a taste for refinery. Or, it could have just been his past form of amusement, drinking something as abhorrent as blood out of something intended for merriment and celebration.

"You _are_ a slave, technically," Walter said as he watched the amusing scene. The butler had been the one to show him to his chambers, since Alucard was still trying to remember the layout of the manor. "Simply because you aren't treated like one does not mean you aren't."

Alucard merely shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't bother me very much. If I had more possessions, it might hurt me more not to remember. The chair doesn't look very comfortable, but at least the coffin does. But what is this inscription on the lid? ' _The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame_.' The hell does that mean?"

Walter came over and looked at the coffin with a look of nostalgia. "I never wanted to ask. Perhaps on your journey to self-discovery, you'll find out."

"I wonder what I was like before I lost my memory. We were friends, correct? Old friends? Should I call you Angel, as Integra told me? We fought together, during the second time the entire world was plunged into war. I'll most certainly have to read up on all of that."

The old butler smiled mischievously. "You were a conniving, irritating, demeaning fool. We were indeed good friends. Despite how you tormented me in my youth, our past is linked, and our family is one. You may call me whatever you like."

Alucard returned the grin. "You seem the unforgettable type. I am glad to have met you."

"Likewise, sir. Now, I shall take my leave and let you to your studying." Walter bowed, and they parted ways. He was alone.

The book in his hand, through the faint illumination granted by the lights on the walls lining the basement, gleamed a sickly green. It was bright as day for his eyes, but he still did not like how dreary everything was. He supposed that he should get used to it, given that this was a part of his identity. He so badly wanted to be able to remember these strange people, so badly wanted to understand who and what he truly was. Although he understood the extent of his powers, he had no idea where they had originated

He took his place on the throne and ran his thumb under the cover, hesitating before opening the book. Whatever he would find in there, it would not be a happy tale, if the title was anything to go by. But, he supposed, if this would help him remember, he could leave no stone unturned.

' _The year is 1431. A small city called Sighișoara bustles with life one early winter morning. In a small hut near the edge of town, a prince is born...'_


	5. V: He's Romanian

V: He's Romanian

Integra groaned as she rolled over in her bed the next morning. It seemed she would be dealing with quite a few headaches this week. At least it was not nearly as bad as it was just yesterday, when Alucard lost his memories. _That_ headache had found her curled up into the fetal position, cradling her head in her hands and hoping to God that it would all be over soon.

She lazed about for a moment. Although she was head of a large military organization, it was nice to have a couple of minutes to herself in the wee hours of the morn, when the soldiers hadn't woken yet to start their early morning duties.

For some reason, the pain centering around the front half of her skull increased. She winced and felt her forehead to see if she had a fever. She did not. For some reason, however, she felt incredibly disoriented. Almost as if she were suffering from secondhand…

Shit.

With that thought in mind, the director of Hellsing bolted upright. She _was_ suffering from secondhand emotions. The bond between servant and master had not been severed completely. Alucard was still attached to her, and that meant she was able to feel what he felt. Something was happening with him, something she did not think was safe.

Integra rushed out of bed garbed in her nightdress and charged out of her door, running barefoot through her manor. As soon as the door was opened, she heard one of her men screaming bloody murder, among other shouting, frantic voices. As she raced closer to the artillery room, one voice she recognized most clearly as Pip Bernadotte's shouted: "Whoa! Whoa! Hold your fucking fire! _I said hold your fucking fire!"_

Another voice, one she recognized but did not understand, shouted something as well. "Cine dracu esti tu? Unde sunt? Esti inamicul?!"

"Master, put the man down!" Seras shouted. "Please, Sir! Don't kill him!"

Integra burst into the room and gasped at the sight. There was Alucard, garbed as a medieval warlord, cape, mustache, armor and all, hoisting Pip Bernadotte up off the ground by the back of his braid in one hand and shoving the pointy end of a broadsword at his face in the other. The vampire paused at the sight of the sudden appearance and narrowed his eyes in confusion, a flash of recognition sparking within them. Integra heaved a breath of exasperation and rage, casting her eyes around the room. "What in the bloody hell is going on here?!" When no one answered her at first, she concentrated the force of her sharp blue eyes on Pip. "Answer me, soldier!"

"How should I fucking know?!" Pip growled. "Merde, I was just picking out my gun for the firing range this morning, and this _fils de pute_ pops out of the fucking wall and attacks me!"

The vampire did not like the tone of voice the soldier used when addressing her, and jabbed his blade into Pip's Adam's Apple, nearly drawing blood. "Nu-mi place modul în care vă vorbesc. Frumos vorbi acum!" The unfortunate mercenary winced and clenched his jaw shut. He did not want to risk death for just opening his trap.

Integra blinked, recognizing the language. "Alucard," she said, gesturing to him so that he knew who she was addressing, "Why are you speaking Romanian?"

He blinked at her, expression blank. "Ilona? Ce limbă sunt vorbind?"

Although the words were completely foreign to her, one word stood out to her. Ilona, as she recalled, was his wife from hundreds of years ago, when he was Prince of Wallachia. So, mustering up her best Romanian, she pointed to herself. "N-Nu… Ilona, Dracula. I am Integra. _Integra_ ," she stressed. It really did not help that she only knew a couple of words in his native tongue. 'No', 'thank you', and 'hello' she had down. The rest… well, she was out of luck.

Alucard narrowed his eyes once again, gaze becoming cold and unfeeling towards her. He suddenly dropped the French mercenary on his ass and stepped over him, instead heading straight towards her. Integra held her ground, but wished desperately that she had strapped on her saber before leaving her bedroom. "Atunci cum stii cine sunt eu?" he growled, enunciating every word precisely, even though she had no idea what he was saying. But from the tone of his voice, it sounded deadly serious.

Apparently he was suffering from amnesia again, and this time, it was an even worse case from the last. Yesterday, although he did not know who she was, she could still negotiate with him. Now… now, things seemed hopeless. If he had somehow reverted to the mindset he had before he became a vampire, then he would not be nearly as patient as the Alucard she knew best. There was no way she would be able to communicate with him now, not when there was the language barrier. And he looked close to pointing the weapon at her, too. It was apparent that his scarce patience was running thinner the longer she kept silent.

And in her stress to come up with a way to approach the situation, she remembered that although she did not speak Romanian, English was not the only language she knew. She just prayed he was able to recognize one of them. "Dracula, spreekt u Nederlands?" He furrowed his brow. Apparently, he could not speak Dutch. So, she tried the only other option she had left. "Deutsch?"

His head perked up slightly at that, then nodded in comprehension. It seemed he now understood what she was trying to do. "Ich spreche Deutsch," he responded in kind.

He was able to speak German. This was incredibly fortunate. Although she knew his version of the language would be outdated, it at least took care of some of the barrier. " _Dracula, we are not your enemy,"_ she explained calmly. It was wonderful, having grown up with two other languages. When business called for it, multilingualism came in handy.

The once-prince inspected her carefully, blazing red eyes glancing her up and down. She was used to that expression. It meant he was either sizing up a worthy opponent, or mulling over a strategy in great detail. She hoped it was the latter. Integra really did not want to fight him. " _You are Christian?"_ he asked finally. " _I saw a cross on a wall as I stumbled through this castle."_

She sighed in both parts relief and frustration. "Ja."

" _Then why have you kidnapped me? Who are you people? Why do your crucifixes burn me? Where is the master of this castle?"_

Integra, with much dread, realized now that not only would she have to explain to him once again who and what he was, but what had happened for the past several centuries. " _If you follow me, I will answer all of your questions. Will you comply, for now at least?"_

The vampire considered her for a moment. Then placed his sword back into its sheath. " _I will listen to whatever it is you have to say. For now, no one will die."_

That seemed promising. She wished now, more than ever, that she hadn't sent Walter off to gather the crime evidence from Alucard's earlier mission. His wires would have been incredibly useful.

0o0

The story that woman, Integra, gave him was probably the most bizarre thing he had ever listened to. It sounded something like a tale concocted by a madman, but he could think of no other reason for the strange things he had experienced. He was apparently a devil, a creature against God and all things holy, who apparently was over five centuries old, who apparently came to be under the command of the woman's bloodline.

It was all very confusing… and aggravating.

It did help that she looked like Ilona, though. Hers was a face that he naturally trusted, although she was fair-haired and her skin was slightly darker than Ilona's. Her face was very similar, though, and her icy blue eyes nearly matched his wife's. His _dead_ wife's.

He had no idea who that other girl was, though. She was present among the other men when he threatened to impale their leader, the one with the cute face. It was as he thought of how such an innocent thing could seem so evil that the girl shifted uneasily, and he realized he had been staring at her. For a little devil, she certainly acted human.

"Sir, why does he look like he wants to murder me?" the girl asked in English, the language he really wished he had learned when he had the chance.

Integra seemed amused by this. " _Seras wants to know why you glare at her._ "

He could sense, though he was not sure how, that the devil- _Seras_ , he internally corrected himself- was intimidated. But he could care less. " _She is my creation, if what you say is true. I have changed a human being into a monster. Why did you permit her to continue existing? For that matter, why do_ I _still live, if you are supposedly a Christian-run association? We are devils- it should be your first priority to execute us- to send us into the fiery pits of Hell where we rightly belong."_

With a morose expression, Integra translated the words. Alucard saw a flash of her hurt-filled expression before she quickly hid her eyes behind her bangs. He supposed that for a creature who could by no prospect have a soul, she was a fine actress. He even felt guilty for a split second. " _Your job is to hunt the other monsters_ ," Integra answered, her voice clipped. " _That is why you are still alive. You are not a free monster. You are a pet, a weapon, a tool of destruction. That is your place here. If you were not so useful, you would be dead."_ And then she turned to Seras, and switched to English and a much softer tone of voice. "He doesn't mean what he says; remember that his mindset is merely a product of circumstance. Alucard sired you for a purpose."

The vampire cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing. " _I must not be very useful to you now, being as I am._ "

Integra grimaced at first, then scowled. "You are a tool- I mean: _You are a tool. Don't forget that. Even with your memories gone, you don't need those to follow orders._ " He had gotten her so angry, she began to almost-yell at him in English.

The room seemed to darken, along with the look on Alucard's face. He was finally at his breaking point, and had grown tired of being snapped at. Seras sensed the impending danger and took a careful step in front of Integra's desk, on the defensive immediately. He slowly rose from his chair and slowly walked forwards until he was standing right in front of the girl, staring down into her fearful eyes. " _Out of my way, demon,_ " he growled. Seras gulped, but did not budge.

Just when Alucard was about to raise a hand to strike her, Integra said something to the girl that made her do as he commanded. "It's all right, Seras. I can handle him." And just like magic, the girl gave him one last warning look before slowly backing away from the table, out of his path. Once that was cleared, he easily swiped the large mahogany desk and with one quick movement sent it skidding to the other side of the room, nearly toppling it on its side.

Now there was nothing in his way. Integra was on her feet right in front of him, not an ounce of fear on her face. He could respect that, at least. For someone who knew who he was, this woman would have to have nerves of steel not to even flinch. " _You don't hold any power over me now_ ," he said lowly. " _You are a weak leader, Integra, if you think self-aggrandizement will get me on my knees before you. As far as we're concerned, I bow before God and_ _ **no one else**_ _. So you're going to follow_ _ **my**_ _orders, now. And I order you to return me back to my time_!"

The noise started small enough that Alucard thought at first the woman merely had the hiccups. When it grew in power and volume, until her shoulders were shaking in mirth, he realized it was laughter. " _Self-aggrandizement? You think that will get you on your knees_?"

When he did not reply, her laughter slowly tapered off. " _Kneel_ ," she said, almost jokingly. Alucard scoffed at her, and did not move. Her mirth vanished, and in its place stood something that made the vampire pause in his tracks. Her beautiful face twisted into something horrifying- golden eyes wide and full of power, lips curled downwards into a commanding sneer. " ** _I SAID KNEEL_**." Without him even realizing it, she had brought something out of her pajamas, something that was not strapped there before, and he heard two fast booms before he felt his shins suddenly splinter into a thousand tiny pieces.

Alucard let out a pained roar as he fell to the ground, on his hands and knees. Before he could move to inspect his injuries, the end of what appeared to be an advanced gun was pressed against his chin, forcing him to look up into Integra's dead eyes. " _Make no mistake, vampire, I'm just as tired as you. I want things to go back to the way they were too; back to a time when you were complacent enough that I wouldn't have to remind my servant of his place. But, such is life. So now I guess I'll have to keep filling you in, again and again, until you_ _ **get it through your thick skull**_ _. You don't follow me just because my daddy, and his daddy before him, were your masters. You don't even follow me because of the seals. You follow me because you know,_ _ **you know**_ _, that I am the only human on this planet who is worthy of killing you. Don't believe me? Disobey me one more fucking time, servant, and I will not hesitate to neutralize you. Come on, do it! Your legs are regenerated! Fight me and let's see! Hurry, hurry, hurry! Just one more fucking time!_ " she was yelling now, yelling at him with a deep, roaring ferocity he had seen only from the most formidable of opponents.

Pin-drop silence filled the room, and no one moved. Not Seras, who was standing there dumbfounded, not Integra, who stared him down, and not Alucard, who was still on his knees, staring back up at her with an expression even more shocked than the other vampire's.

Several seconds ticked by just like that. Then, Integra leaned in close enough that he felt her hot breath fanning his cheeks. " _Well, Impaler? Are you going to order me now?"_

In all his years as a prince, no one had ever dared to challenge him like that. No one had ever gotten so far. And now, he was staring up at likely the most audacious person he had ever met, and all he could think of was how impressed he was. " _No… Master_ ," was all he was capable of saying.

The room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Integra's blue eyes curved into razor-sharp sickles, and her grin was just as piercing. " _Well then. You stay here, and I will return shortly. Why don't you clean up the mess you made while I'm gone?"_

And just like that, the former prince of Wallachia was left sitting all alone on the floor of an office, staring at his own shaken expression in the reflection of her tall windows. It only barely registered with him that his legs had somehow pieced themselves together.

0o0

"Sir Integra! That was _amazing_!" Seras breathed as she walked alongside the heiress, practically skipping with excitement. "I-I've never seen anything like it! You were so _cool_ and _terrifying_ and _awesome_! Mostly terrifying, but still! What did you say to him?"

Integra smiled, relieved that there was at least still one resident within the manor that hadn't lost their spirit. "Well, I just told him that he always follows me because I'm scary, and that if he fought me I would kill him."

The former bobby stopped skipping. "But… sir? Do you really know how to kill him without the seals?"

The heiress looked left, then right, then leaned in towards Seras. "I have absolutely no idea," she said in a low voice. "I would fight to the bitter end, but I have no idea if I would be able to manage it. The thing with Alucard is that you have to have the gall to say those things, make him understand that you'd be willing to fight. He respects honor. There was no other way."

Seras blinked. Then her jaw dropped. Integra chuckled at the dumbfounded expression. They had reached her bedroom door. "Run along now, Police Girl. I'm embarrassed enough all my men saw me in this state- I have to get ready. You should see the maid about getting the mail- I think you both might have a mission tonight."

 **My goodness, this chapter was so much fun to write! Sorry my posts have all been very delayed as of late- my stories are still under construction, I promise.**


	6. VI: He's Learning

He's Learning

Alucard had made a mistake.

It had been awfully presumptuous of him to force the strange woman's hand. In her defense, if her story was true, he had attacked someone who had been working hard to make him normal again. There was no way to return to his proper time; everyone was dead, and he was living in the past. If in this new life, he had accepted her as his… _idol_ (no matter how the word repulsed him), then his fate was already sealed. He was a monster, and thus damned. But in this human's presence, he was still capable of good.

She had blown his legs off. That had surprised him more than anything else, but it even more surprisingly hadn't hurt him as much as it should have. And within but a moment, his flesh had knit itself back together. He hadn't known himself capable of doing that, given his foreign supernatural gifts. But Integra did. She had known that it would not have any other effect other than that it would get him to follow her orders. And if their positions were switched… perhaps she wasn't too far off. If he was a monster, what better use for his abilities than as a tool for her to wield, a weapon for her to use and purge her enemies with? The woman was Christian. In fact, he likely would not have shown such leniency in her position. He was unpredictable in this state. If he had a pet monster that suddenly managed to get out of his control… he shuddered to think on what he would have done. For now, he could accept the reality of his situation, and grieve later. He owed it to Integra, at that point.

What a stunning, interesting woman.

Said woman walked into the sunlit room garbed in a strange but very befitting grey suit with a crimson cravat. A silver cross was pinned onto that, he noticed. Her long blonde hair had been thoroughly brushed, and shimmered softly in the dawn light. As she strode into the room, her steps were cautious but confident, and she scrutinized him carefully, apparently trying to decipher his mood. Well, Alucard might have at one time been a prince, but he could recognize his betters. He gave her a solemn nod. " _I will follow whatever orders you give me_ ," he said, and she nodded back and silently sat behind her now immaculate desk. He had been careful to return it to its proper place, and had put all the items that had fallen off back where they were before. " _If you are more capable of fixing whatever has happened, you have earned my trust. And for not backing down, you have indeed earned my respect._ "

" _That's nice_ ," she said calmly, opening the letter that he just noticed was in her hand. He realized this was likely a show. She was putting up a brave front, trying to make him realize she was already sure of herself. She did pause for a moment before she read the words. " _Even if I am a woman? As this is the twenty-first century, women have been considered equal for many years now (albeit not as many as I'd like to tell you about). You have no qualms with me as I am?_ "

He waved a hand dismissively. " _Bah. I never was of the opinion there was a difference. But even if I did have 'qualms' as you put it,_ " here he smirked indolently, " _I'd have to simply deal with it, wouldn't I? Certainly a gun is a gun, no matter the gender of the one who pulls the trigger._ "

Ah, there it was. He had reached past her stony façade, and there was mirth twinkling in those icy eyes. Alucard realized that he liked Integra. She had at first reminded him of Ilona, but now he could clearly see the difference. His wife could be commanding when she needed to be, but for the most part, she was soft and charming. It was different to what he was used to, but not in an ultimately bad way. If he hadn't only just recently discovered that he had lost his wife, he might have thought even more of her. He couldn't help but wonder what a woman like her would have done in his time, when women were killed for speaking. She likely would have acted as The Maid of Orléans herself, and perhaps suffered a similar fate. But still, it would have been glorious to watch her conquer.

Oh, was she speaking? He had been so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't realized she had set the letter down after reading. " _-with Seras. There might be a language barrier, but I'm sure she would find a way to help you. She may be a young vampire, but the girl is very talented for her age. You'll have to work with her."_

" _To do what again?"_ He asked, blinking dumbly.

" _Hm? Oh, to hunt the vampire I told you about. That_ is _what we do here at Hellsing. The guns you saw on the artillery range weren't just for show,_ " she joked.

" _But I am untrained,_ " he reminded her, eyebrows knit together in confusion. " _Will I truly be fit to kill a monster I know nothing about?_ "

Her humor returned, though this time he hadn't meant to be funny. " _Believe me. You are more than capable of taking care of any run-of-the-mill vampire, with or without any knowledge of how to do so. Remember that your limbs regenerate. You could be shackled before a firing squad and shot without end for a fortnight, and walk away unscathed. Think of it as a…"_ she let out a small titter, " _'_ _learning experience'. If all else fails, try ripping it limb from limb. That usually works."_

And so unflinching towards violence, too. Were all women in this era so strange? Alucard let out an exasperated sigh. " _Very well. If that is what you wish, I will do my best. Where is the tiny demon I'm stuck with?"_

Integra's smile vanished. " _She is explaining what has happened to the men, right where you left them._ " He turned to leave, but was stopped by the woman. " _And Alucard_?"

It took him a moment to remember that the name she used was his new name. " _Yes, Integra?_ "

" _Treat her better than that. Seras may be a vampire, but she hasn't lost her humanity. Compared to you, she is a saint. So I will not tolerate you calling her names or harming her in any way, either emotionally or physically. Is that understood?_ "

Curious. He began to get the sneaking suspicion she actually _cared_ about the little devil. " _As you wish_."

0o0

Seras didn't like him in Vlad-form. If he was in the form he took as her normal master, Alucard could be more easily reasoned with. And in her personal opinion, Alucard seemed much less intimidating. His past-self seemed so much sharper and colder than his form as a vampire. She could imagine him as a human, riding horseback through some hellish battlefield, using his sword to slice off heads as his black armor stained with blood…

She shook herself. He was standing in front of her, expecting a tutorial. She would have to try her best not to let her nerves get to her. Another mercenary was standing beside her, looking no more pleased than she was to be there. Gerald was there to act as a language translator. "Right," she murmured, anxiously fiddling with the Jackal. "This is… your weapon. It's called a gun. I'm not too sure if you even had guns in your time…"

Alucard crossed his arms and regarded her blandly as he replied in German. "He says that they did," Gerald said. "And for about two hundred years, too."

"Oh. Okay, well, I never studied gun-ology, so I didn't know. So… it's really just much more advanced. This is the safety. This is so whenever you aren't shooting, you don't accidentally pull the trigger on something unintentionally, like yourself or others. Make sure that's off before you hit your enemy. You pull on the top here to load it, and once it's loaded, you can pull the trigger. You have to reload whenever your clip is empty, so make sure you count how many bullets are left in the clip so you won't have to do that in front of your enemy. Um… shooting vampires in the head or heart kills them."

His eyebrows rose and he seemed to look impressed. "He says: 'It's that easy? All I have to do is pull that little point, load, and I can kill at my leisure? Hand it over then, vampire. Let me test it out.' Uh… I don't think that's a good idea to do with the Jackal, miss. Maybe the Cassul, but the Jackal is way too powerful for practicing. He'll blow away our practice field," Gerald said apprehensively. Although it was a little amusing to hear his imitation of Alucard's deep, suave voice. It nearly got the draculina to smile.

Seras nodded towards the mercenary. "You're right. I'll hand it to him, but tell him not to use it. I'm getting his other gun."

The mercenary anxiously eyed the scene of the dangerous vampire fiddling with the weapon. But, because he translated precisely what Seras had told him to, all the heat was taken off of him and onto the other gun she pulled out.

"Tell him this one's better for practicing."

Alucard examined the silver gun and nodded, then turned towards the translator. "He says, 'It's good.'" As the vampire continued talking, Gerald began to look increasingly more uncomfortable. He looked at Seras, hesitated, then looked back at Alucard and asked another question. The vampire responded with an annoyed grunt.

"What did he want?"

Gerald sighed. "He wants to know why you decided to become a monster."

A bright blush colored Seras's cheeks, and she was honestly dumbfounded by the question. "Can… you ask him why he wants to know that?"

The mercenary nodded and did as she asked. Alucard explained his thoughts briefly, then turned to watch her with a very calculating gaze. "He says there are many appeals to being a vampire. Your answer will decide how he chooses to view you. Shit, Seras. You had better tell him something he'll like."

"I'm not going to _lie_ to him," she huffed, considering her master for a moment. What would Alucard, still in a human mindset, think of his fledgling? Seras breathed in deeply through her nose, then exhaled in an attempt to soothe her nerves. "Tell him… Tell him I wanted to keep moving. That… when he offered me the chance… I saw a way to be the person I was meant to become. It wasn't that I was afraid of death. It was that I just wasn't ready for it, not yet."

"You didn't do it for the power?" Gerald asked her, not yet willing to translate for the elder vampire.

Seras shook her head, then smiled awkwardly. "No, I didn't even know I would get any. I just wanted to keep living."

The mercenary nodded solemnly and translated. As he carried on with his explanation, Seras watched in amazement as Alucard's hard eyes seemed to soften, by some minimal degree. Gerald turned back to her, a slight grin on his face. "He says: "Well, if I remembered why I became one, it would probably be because of a similar reason. I still don't trust you, but at least now I don't feel inclined to kill you. Let's see if your story holds true, Seras Victoria." Has a very reassuring way of speaking, doesn't he?"

Wait: did that mean he felt inclined to kill her before? "Um… okay. So… let's just, um… move along with training, then…"

0o0

It was happening again.

That same yearning. The little nagging voice that had been at the back of his head, whispering in his ear when he was near Integra. It was back; and this time, it was all-consuming.

Being a vampire wasn't too bad, he supposed. If he didn't think about when his life finally expired and he faced his final judgment, it came with many bonuses. One being that he was much, much, _much_ stronger than a normal human. So when he found the piece of filth that had made ghouls out of every child within the nursery, he would be able to exact the fullest range of torture he could possibly bestow. Ghouls, he had learned, were the outcome of deflowered humans. That meant that for each bullet he had to shoot into a little child's glazed-over expression, he had all the more incentive to reap justice.

In the land he had come from, murder was punishable by death. Rape was punishable by death. _Treason_ was punishable by death. Especially to those who would commit such heinous crimes against children.

He was going to make the bastard repent for every one of his sins.

Oh, he was a monster now, and had no moral high ground. But that didn't mean that other monsters were exempt from righteous punishment. And when he found the pathetic sack of excrement hiding away from the sound of gunshots (truly, he _loved_ these modern-weapons), he resolved to let out a little anger.

The trials Seras had put him through made him realize just how much higher above these cretins he actually was. He supposed that for a fledgling, the young draculina could hold her own, and her demonstrations on how to use the third eye or unlock familiars truly was helpful. At the same time, she seemed incredibly underdeveloped in comparison. Seras could not summon familiars because she had not yet consumed blood. He, however, could feel millions of entities crawling beneath his skin, whispering unintelligible words at the back of his mind. These, according to her, were all of the souls he had consumed over the span of his five-hundred-some years of existence. The burly translator who had explained her words to him looked about ready to faint by the end of their lesson. And Alucard, as he was still of a human mindset, wouldn't have blamed him.

These familiars, Seras explained with some level of her own confusion (as she had only seen these powers in action and did not herself employ them), could be formed into whatever shape he wished. Whether to regrow a limb or to form some sort of weapon, these dead people could be formed to the extent of his imagination.

However, Alucard was not going to use this. It seemed like cheating, in a sense. And he was a much more "hands-on" type of fighter. After all, what sort of satisfaction could be gained from simply using shadows when snapping bones with your bare hands was far more thrilling?

His vision had gone red as soon as he spotted the vampire amongst the deceased body of ghoulish children. For them, he would use his modernized weaponry to grant them a quick death. It was the least he could do in that situation, considering they never asked for that horrible "life after death", if one were very liberal with the definition of "life". But he spared the bullets for the vampire. That would be far, far too easy.

Alucard wasn't certain what had happened after he shot down the ghouls. He assumed it had something to do with beating the vampire responsible into a bloody pulp, but after the first few seconds of sweet, sweet vengeance, something strange overcame him. He could no longer see what he was doing, could no longer control his actions. It was as if he was a captive in his own body, only present to feel emotion and thought.

It felt as if he were brought back in time, far back to a time when meals only came on account of his good behavior at the behest of the wretched Sultan, when food was a privilege and basic necessities could only be granted for his compliance; a time when his limbs had become gaunt and his eyes sunken; a time when his stomach had concaved and each bite of stale bread felt like a godsend. When he had ripped the vampire's offensive arm off, blood had spurted from the wound, and it had begun screaming pathetically as its fragile limbs attempted to regrow. But that did not happen. There wasn't enough time for that; especially when someone's teeth were embedded in your throat.

Many things happened after that.

His mind became a whirlwind of thought, as if the sun had burst through the darkness of a long-dark cave. He saw the memories of the vampire, how it had grown into perversion beneath its twisted stepfather, how it had died one fateful night by the hand of the wrong woman to threaten. But perhaps more importantly, as Alucard felt its soul dissolve into the nothingness that existed within his being, he began to understand more about the world around him.

Where once, English sounded like gibberish, he understood. Where once his understanding of history had been void of everything past the fifteenth century, now vague concepts were now clear to him. Industrialization, world wars, the Protestant Reformation… Oh, Integra was protestant? That made sense; although the Hellsing manor was undoubtedly Christian, there was something there that simply didn't feel quite Catholic.

It was quite a lot of information to process all at once, but oddly enough, it did not take as long as he would have thought. When he finally came into consciousness, the vampire had already dissolved into ashes in his grip, but the memories remained within his mind.

Seras chose this moment to enter the room. She took one look at him sitting on his knees, hunched over and holding his head in his hands as if in pain, then immediately sprang to action. "Master!" she screeched, making the older vampire jolt at the sudden loud noise. The girl dashed to his side and moved to help him up, looking him over for any injuries. "Master! Master, can you hear me! Oh God, why did you choose _now_ to revert to your scary old form? You can't understand a word I'm saying. But… Master! Oh, please do something to tell me you're okay!"

And, in perfect English, Alucard responded: "Stop yelling, Police Girl."

 **I felt that this chapter was more difficult to write than the last, considering that this was a necessity, and transitional. Thank you all so, so much for reviewing! As always, you guys are just amazing.**

 **To Alexis: You got the reference! I drew heavily on inspiration for Integra shooting his knees out from that one scene with Balalaika and Hansel (or Gretel- they were both, apparently?). The scene was so chilling, I had to use something like that somewhere.**

 **To AmericanWildDog: That's a very good prediction! I won't give anything away yet, but I will say that you'll be seeing quite a few different sides of Alucard before the ending. :)**

 **To speedfanatic05: Well, like I said before, I won't be giving anything away. But I don't plan on making Integra go: "You need to follow orders," every chapter- these first few ones were just chocked full of that. Don't worry, things WILL begin to stick with him. And thank you! Oh my gosh, I read your review and just started blushing- seriously, you never fail to make my day.**

 **To everyone else, thank you! Your kind words are a big help, and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **By the way, this fic is going to be centered particularly around the relationships Alucard has within the Hellsing organization as his story unfolds. I'll be expanding more on what happened on his mission in the next chapter, simply because I had to get this out of the way first in order to progress. It may seem a tad confusing now, but I'll go more in-depth with it later, I assure you.**


	7. VII: He's a Curious Case

VII: He's a Curious Case

As Integra was in the middle of a conference call with the Round Table, her butler entered the room with an unusually flustered appearance. Knowing not to take lightly anything that would make the retainer wear that expression, she quickly muted her end of the conversation. The monotone voice of Sir Islands droning on could be heard faintly in the background. "What is it, Walter? What did you find?" she asked, setting the phone onto the table.

"It's what I didn't find that leads to concern, Ma'am," he said, handing her a single sheet of paper.

"What is this?" Integra asked, skimming over the words. The question here actually was, "What does this mean?" She had seen this particular kind document more than enough to know precisely what sort of paper it was. This was a report written over the latest mission, filed by none other than the men who had to observe the aftermath. Her trained eyes skimmed past the list of casualties and went directly to the description of the bank afterwards. "Nothing left of it," she murmured, massaging the bridge of her nose before covering her forehead and eyes in her hands, jostling her spectacles slightly in the process. "It burned completely to the ground."

"And nothing could be salvaged," Walter added with a sigh. Integra never thought this before, but Walter for once truly seemed his age in light of these circumstances. On any normal day there was youthful but restrained vigor in his step, but she had been running him ragged as of late; gathering intel, taking Alucard to the doctor (where they had immediately denied an MRI scan due to the possibility of silver remnants still residing in his skull), and now this. He had to conduct a proper investigation, speaking with all the soldiers present to witness not only Alucard's battle with the vampire he had thankfully dispatched, but the events afterwards regarding his loss of memory. "I might have a suggestion."

Integra looked up from where her face had been buried in her hands. "Anything."

The butler smiled fondly. In his eyes, Integra always appeared much older than she actually was, due to how collected she had always been in the face of adversity. Her desperation almost seemed to bring out the childish, almost petulant side of her. "May I ask, from what you told me via telephone this morning, what could have led to Alucard's regression?"

Integra considered him curiously. "I haven't the foggiest clue. I suppose it may have something to do with the book I lent him."

"Then you know what I'm suggesting."

She nodded slowly, suddenly itching for tobacco. "You want me to show him another book published about his life, because it may help him regain his former identity," Integra said, pulling the drawer to her desk open and plucking a cigar out from the box that lay within. Walter dutifully offered a light, and she gratefully drew in the smoke. It was a habit she had acquired almost out of necessity to relieve the stress of her workday. "I've considered the same. But let me ask you something, Walter. With every new character he assumes, I've had to face my possible demise. When he first lost his memory, he acted upon instinct; and just recently, he acted on his former Wallachian voivode pride. Normally, the fact I would be placed in jeopardy would not hold so much weight, considering my line of work, but these matters are much more difficult to ascertain the correct approach. What do you suppose might happen if he remembers what it's truly like to be a free vampire?"

The old butler's steely eyes glinted with wisdom. "Well," he replied slowly, "I'd imagine he'd want to reclaim all he had lost, and act on avarice. But I think you're forgetting the most important part."

"And what is that?"

Walter smiled devilishly. "He always loses to Hellsings."

0o0

The poor girl damn near fell over, she was so shocked by this new adjustment. He had to catch her before she did just that, then pulled her up, all while incredibly amused. "Whaaa…?" she murmured, so incredibly confused that (ironically) _she_ was the one who couldn't properly speak English.

He grinned toothily, pleased with himself. "I believe I've just had a revelation of sorts. It took a while to happen, but tonight's mission has actually been quite useful to me after all."

"Are… Are you normal again, Sir?" she asked.

Alucard withdrew from her and shook his head. "No, I'm not back to the person you knew before, if that's what you're asking. But, it seems I made some progress." Funny. If one listened closely enough, his voice carried a trace of an accent.

Seras hummed in thought. "What do you remember?"

He dusted himself off and stood to his full height, looking about him with a sense of wonderment. The vampire he had recently devoured had transformed into naught but dust. "Everything I've learned since yesterday evening. My life as a human in the fifteenth century. A little more about history. Snippets of this dead bastard's life," he nodded towards the ashes at his feet. "Really, it's not much, but it's a start."

"I wonder why drinking his blood could have possibly triggered this turn of events," Seras murmured. "Do you think it has something to do with his memories?"

Alucard shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps it may have been a combination of that and the fact Integra lent me a book on my life prior to death the other night. Or maybe it was just the healing properties of his blood."

Seras beamed up at him, immensely relived to at least be able to reason with her master. "Well, I'm glad you're feeling better! You had me really worried all day: I thought you would stay that way forever."

Realization hit him like a sack of bricks. Seras, though resilient, was not like Integra. Her heart was not yet cast in iron. No, far from it. The girl exuded an air of innocence, a trusting naïveté that was unique to the organization and even to the rest of the world, especially given her age. From what little interaction he'd had with her before, she was timid, especially around him. He had resolved to at least attempt to bond with her before regressing to his human mindset. Now, it almost seemed as though he had retraced his steps. He had made an internal vow to get the girl to open up a little more, and screwed that up in less than twenty-four hours.

"Forever is a very long time, Police Girl," he said carefully. "I don't think I'll be stuck this way forever."

She smiled. "I know, sir! I have faith in your recovery. But come along- we should probably share the great news with Sir Integra. I know she'll be thrilled that you're normal… er, not… in your old mindset."

That question at the back of his mind was back again as she led him out of the room, her posture positively radiating optimism. _Why did I turn you?_

0o0

Integra was immensely grateful when her servants returned. The mission had been a success, Alucard had proven that he was recovering, and Seras was unharmed. Everything was working out splendidly. Once Seras had given her report for the evening, which Alucard confirmed with short phrases here and there, the draculina was dismissed to enjoy the rest of the night. He, however, was not.

Integra once again sat across from him, the two completely alone in the voluminous room. The silence between them seemed so oppressive that Alucard almost felt claustrophobic. Integra observed him from behind a plume of cigar smoke, calculating blue eyes glimmering with something foreign. It wasn't malevolent, but it certainly wasn't benign either, and he couldn't help staring with profound interest.

After Seras's footsteps faded into silence (and he sensed she was out of earshot), Alucard took the initiative. "Am I in trouble?"

She snorted. "No, you're not in trouble." Could he act any less his age? "It just seems… odd. Interesting that you've remembered so much so easily."

"So…" his lips twitched, threatening to break his solemn façade, "I _am_ in trouble."

"I haven't lied to you."

"You think my amnesia is a sham." There was a hint of offense in his statement.

"I think your amnesia is _interesting_ ," she corrected delicately. "I've never heard of a case like this."

"Well I would imagine that most cases involve humans, Integra. And as you can clearly see-"

"Yes, yes. But why? Why is your case so strange?"

From the tone of her voice, he knew something drastic was about to happen. "I have a feeling you have some conjectures."

She took the cigar from her mouth and fiddled with it, turning it over and over in her hands. "Let's say, theoretically, there may be a way to get you back. The old you."

"Meaning there is a way."

"It's not exactly orthodox, but… yes. Drinking fresh blood allowed some sort of recovery. You adopted your past character, and then merged it with your post-injury self. You said you recall your death?" To this, he nodded. "But nothing past that. So if we repeated a similar experiment in jogging your memory (a.k.a. another book), focusing on your later faux life, we should expect similar results, correct?"

"Correct." He regarded her thoughtfully. "There's something holding you back."

"I have explained to you before that your position here at Hellsing is not optional." She crushed the end of her smoke against a nearby tray, smothering it.

Understanding gleamed in his scarlet eyes. "I see. You have no means of enforcing it. Where once you had leverage, you now have nothing." He cocked his head. "Are you scared of me?"

"I wouldn't use that word."

"No," he agreed, smiling minutely, "I suppose you wouldn't. So here is the dilemma you now face: you may recover my memory by getting me to read this book, but if this happens, I will inevitably become a threat. But if you _don't_ , you chance my disloyalty. The only thing keeping me from mass destruction is my willful following of your orders (among other things that lie within my free-will). Correct?" he joked.

"Correct," she repeated again, amused.

He leaned in over her desk, smile growing sharper. "You know, I thought I saw something in your eyes earlier, but I didn't know what it was. Now I think I do."

Shadows danced excitedly behind her field of vision, which remained fixed on his gaze. She did not back down; rather, she leaned in too. "And what's that?"

Alucard laughed quietly. He felt tempted in that moment to brush the flaxen locks from her face, but repressed the feeling in favor of proper conduct. The situation was complicated enough as it was without giving away that he found her _so damnably attractive_. It frustrated him to no end. Was it this way before his incident? "Why, I saw a challenge, my dear. I look forward to whatever you decide."

And of course, which choice did Integra Hellsing make?

 **Sorry for a delay; had a little trouble articulating here where exactly I wanted to go with the story, but hopefully you enjoyed it! Next update will probably be much sooner!**


End file.
